I used to love the fact that people
would think that I was the "perfect Christian", that I had my life
together, that I never sinned, and that I followed ALL the commandments because I went to church EVERY Sunday and Wednesday
(almost every time the church doors were opened), I led worship and sang in the
choir, volunteered in almost every ministry and helped out at almost every
event. I would post scriptures here and there to look like I read the bible
daily all the while I was secretly drowning inside from guilt, shame, depression and pain. Until God began working on me and showing me
the deepest parts of my heart, the parts that were not so perfect, they might
have looked good from the outside but the inside was a mess.
I was grew up in the church, so I grew up knowing how to go through the motions and how to “look”, “act”, and “play” the part. I used to be that girl who claimed to be a "Christian", went to church on Sundays set in a pew, raised my hands in "surrender" but the night before be in the bed with “my man”, who was supposedly a "Christian" too but he only wanted to lay his hands all over my body instead of his bible. *Just a lil sidenote for the ladies if you are ever in a relationship with a guy and he claims he's a Christian he won't be trying to feel all up on you; instead he'll be trying to protect your purity.* I was still surrendering to God but only some things, the things that I didn't really care about having control over. I was only surrendering bits and pieces of my life to Him. I was basically saying “God you can have all of me and a little bit here and there but ONLY on Sundays and Wednesdays" because every other day/night I was living the way that I wanted to live, totally not surrendered to Christ at all, in a life of sin. The bible clearly states that fornication (sex before marriage) is a sin... It also tells us to run away from it 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 says: "Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself."
I was deceived by the enemy’s lies that it was ok to have a little sex here and there as long as no one knew and I continue to go to church and raise my hands and whisper a bunch of empty praise into the air, which meant nothing to God or the devil. You see the devil doesn't care if you go to church as long as you leave the same and not changed; he's not bothered by it. But I knew God was bothered by it and wasn’t pleased with my worship because my heart, my main focus wasn’t on Him instead I was thinking about the next time I was gonna meet up with my boyfriend. I would go to church and sing and serve in so many ministries when my heart wasn’t even in the right place. Ever heard of the saying: "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." and it's true...
“Just because your church attendance is perfect
doesn’t mean that your relationship with God is.”
My church attendance was on FLEEK! I
was there all the time, so much that no one would have ever thought that my
relationship with God was distorted. I knew of God but I didn't truly know Him
like I do now. Sin has a way of blinding you and distorting your life, your
relationships/friendships, but most importantly your relationship with God to the point you
don't even know how you got that far from Him or how to even get back to Him. BUT
GOD has a way of bringing you back to Him by redemption. Before you even thought about that sin God already had a plan to bring you back to Him by giving His only son to shed His blood for us! The cross made a way for us to get back to Him. His blood is enough to overwhelm you with love, wash away your sins, and draw you back to Him.
After years of disobeying God and living my own way I finally got tired of the repetitive cycle of sin, the stress, heartache, headache, the feeling of guilt and shame of going to church week after week and crying my eyes out to God asking for forgiveness but still going on sinning pretending to be living right and serving Him but I knew that the way I was living wasn't right. I finally came to a realization that that guy, sex, or any other relationship can't sustain or fully satisfy me the way that God can. I let the lies of the enemy condemn me, I felt like I was the worst person on earth, like I had committed the worst of THE worst sin. I felt like I failed God tremendously and let Him down so many times that I started to give up on my walk with God, and that's just what the enemy wanted. I felt like I would never change or I'll always be that way and that there was NO way that I could ever fix my life back to the way it used to be, and I was right because I couldn't fix my life without the help of Jesus.
A lot of people, including myself, think that just because we've messed up so many times here and there that we let God down but in all reality if you think about it we were never holding Him up, He holds us up. It's us that climb out if His mighty victorious hand and try to do our own thing. He doesn't drop us when we mess up, if anything He holds onto us even tighter; but we out of stubbornness try to do everything ourselves and create this big mess; then after we realize we aren't capable of fixing it or cleaning it up we tend to feel guilty and shameful thinking we let Him down. Well let me tell you something... first off that's a lie from the enemy he wants you to feel condemned and hide from God. Secondly God is God and He's the same yesterday, today, and forever! Your little mistake, yes I said little, is NOTHING compared to our GREAT God. Nothing, I mean NOTHING can separate you from the love of God! ~Romans 8:38-39. One thing that I've learned is that God holds me; I don't hold Him...
You can NEVER let God down because you were NEVER holding Him up to begin with… God knew your mistakes before you even made them and yet He still cared for you and loved you the same! His love for you WILL always remain; it NEVER changes.
After years of disobeying God and living my own way I finally got tired of the repetitive cycle of sin, the stress, heartache, headache, the feeling of guilt and shame of going to church week after week and crying my eyes out to God asking for forgiveness but still going on sinning pretending to be living right and serving Him but I knew that the way I was living wasn't right. I finally came to a realization that that guy, sex, or any other relationship can't sustain or fully satisfy me the way that God can. I let the lies of the enemy condemn me, I felt like I was the worst person on earth, like I had committed the worst of THE worst sin. I felt like I failed God tremendously and let Him down so many times that I started to give up on my walk with God, and that's just what the enemy wanted. I felt like I would never change or I'll always be that way and that there was NO way that I could ever fix my life back to the way it used to be, and I was right because I couldn't fix my life without the help of Jesus.
A lot of people, including myself, think that just because we've messed up so many times here and there that we let God down but in all reality if you think about it we were never holding Him up, He holds us up. It's us that climb out if His mighty victorious hand and try to do our own thing. He doesn't drop us when we mess up, if anything He holds onto us even tighter; but we out of stubbornness try to do everything ourselves and create this big mess; then after we realize we aren't capable of fixing it or cleaning it up we tend to feel guilty and shameful thinking we let Him down. Well let me tell you something... first off that's a lie from the enemy he wants you to feel condemned and hide from God. Secondly God is God and He's the same yesterday, today, and forever! Your little mistake, yes I said little, is NOTHING compared to our GREAT God. Nothing, I mean NOTHING can separate you from the love of God! ~Romans 8:38-39. One thing that I've learned is that God holds me; I don't hold Him...
You can NEVER let God down because you were NEVER holding Him up to begin with… God knew your mistakes before you even made them and yet He still cared for you and loved you the same! His love for you WILL always remain; it NEVER changes.
My life still to this day isn't perfect, neither is my relationship with God but I'm growing closer to Him each day and now I just can't wait to share my imperfections and how the grace of God has saved me and turned my mess into a message! Even after breaking up with my boyfriend and truly and completely surrendering to God, there are still things in my life that God is working on.. And if I'm not careful I start to think on the past things and start to feel condemned all over again but I constantly have to remember that "There is therefore now NO condemnation to them which are in CHRIST JESUS, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." ~Romans 8:1
The enemy loves to remind me of my past and he always tries to break me and put me down, even when God placed this topic on my heart and told me to write about my imperfections and His undeserving grace and mercies the enemy condemned me, mocked me, faught me so much to the point I stopped writing for weeks because I was so overwhelmed with guilt and shame but the bible is clear when it says that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.". -2 Corinthians 5:17 I am a new CREATION the things I used to do: I don't do them anymore, my life is completely changed by the grace and mercies of God. I thank God for His grace!
Psalm 103:12 says: "As distant as the east is from the west, that is how far He has removed our sins from us." Another version says: "As far as the eastern horizon is from the west, so he removes the guilt of our rebellious actions from us. " When we repent of our sins and turn to God He removes our sins, past, guilt, shame, pain, hurt, etc.. from us as far as the east is from the west. He remembers our sins no more, so why should we?
Psalm 103:12 says: "As distant as the east is from the west, that is how far He has removed our sins from us." Another version says: "As far as the eastern horizon is from the west, so he removes the guilt of our rebellious actions from us. " When we repent of our sins and turn to God He removes our sins, past, guilt, shame, pain, hurt, etc.. from us as far as the east is from the west. He remembers our sins no more, so why should we?
The next time the devil tries to bring up your past remind him of his future burning in hell because in God's eyes you don't have a past, its gone forever!
Looking back I used to be bound to people's opinion of me. Afraid of what they might think or say about me. I had no confidence what so ever... I was living in fear of people instead of fearing God, I feared rejection and acceptance. I lived to seek people's approval instead of seeking God's approval. I was lost, insecure, broken, and hurt, BUT God delivered me! I am now found by His amazing grace, secure in His unfailing love, made whole/new in Him, and healed by His wounds... I no longer care about what people have to say about me because I know what my God says about me! And I can confidently say that I am His, He paid the price for me! And I am loved, forgiven and free, and I am made perfect through Him! ❤ And now I can't wait to tell others about my imperfections and how I'm perfected through Christ! :)
No matter what type of sin you have committed in your past, if you repented, meaning you asked God to forgive you and turned around in the opposite direction and are now truly living for Christ. He has wipe your past clean, His blood paid the price for your sins and it has washed you as white as snow! And the devil hates that because he never had a second chance to repent and so he is going to try to condemn you, deceive you, manipulate you, he's gonna try everything in his power to keep you bound to that sin because he knows the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), he knows that if he can lie to you a little bit longer sooner or later you will die, (it doesn't necessarily mean a physical death but also a mental, emotional, or spiritual death), and end up with him in hell... Don't fall for his traps, schemes, or plans, the bible says " The thief (devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."~John10:10. You see Jesus came to set us free from the death grip of sin that the enemy had us in, He came to give us life and life to the fullest! He doesn't want you to live a life full of regrets and full of shame, He wants you to be free walking in confidence in Him so that you will be able to help other be freed... Never be ashamed of your imperfections, your mistakes, your mess ups, your brokenness, your flaws, whatever it may be because God is SO great, merciful, good, gracious, loving caring AMAZING and SOOOOOO much more! He wants to use you, and when I say you, I mean ALL of you (flaws and all) if you let Him!!!! EVERYTHING about you, the good, bad, and the ugly of the ugliest, He can take the ashes of your past and turn them into beauty. He can take your mess and turn it into a message, He can take your brokenness and shine through you, He can take your mistakes and use them for HIS glory!
Never, I repeat, NEVER let the enemy lie to you and condemn you making you feel like God can never use you because you're too broken, or unworthy, or you made too many mistakes in your life, or that God can't fix, heal you, or that you aren't "good enough". Well let me tell you something if you weren't "good enough" then Jesus wouldn't have gave His life for you! YOU, who ever you are reading this, YOU are more than enough! You are pretty enough! You are worth it! You are smart enough! You are good enough! Enough that God gave His ONE and only son, JESUS to save you by dying a horrific death on the cross to save you and that's why satan is trying so hard to destroy you because he knows how much you mean to God. So please don't believe the devil's lies instead believe God's TRUTH!
I love you All and I'm praying for each and everyone of you, that no matter where you are at in life that God will set you free from sin and breath into you LIFE! That when the enemy tries to condemn you or lie to you, you will know the Truth :)
Love your sis in Christ,
Joy J <3
Looking back I used to be bound to people's opinion of me. Afraid of what they might think or say about me. I had no confidence what so ever... I was living in fear of people instead of fearing God, I feared rejection and acceptance. I lived to seek people's approval instead of seeking God's approval. I was lost, insecure, broken, and hurt, BUT God delivered me! I am now found by His amazing grace, secure in His unfailing love, made whole/new in Him, and healed by His wounds... I no longer care about what people have to say about me because I know what my God says about me! And I can confidently say that I am His, He paid the price for me! And I am loved, forgiven and free, and I am made perfect through Him! ❤ And now I can't wait to tell others about my imperfections and how I'm perfected through Christ! :)
No matter what type of sin you have committed in your past, if you repented, meaning you asked God to forgive you and turned around in the opposite direction and are now truly living for Christ. He has wipe your past clean, His blood paid the price for your sins and it has washed you as white as snow! And the devil hates that because he never had a second chance to repent and so he is going to try to condemn you, deceive you, manipulate you, he's gonna try everything in his power to keep you bound to that sin because he knows the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), he knows that if he can lie to you a little bit longer sooner or later you will die, (it doesn't necessarily mean a physical death but also a mental, emotional, or spiritual death), and end up with him in hell... Don't fall for his traps, schemes, or plans, the bible says " The thief (devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."~John10:10. You see Jesus came to set us free from the death grip of sin that the enemy had us in, He came to give us life and life to the fullest! He doesn't want you to live a life full of regrets and full of shame, He wants you to be free walking in confidence in Him so that you will be able to help other be freed... Never be ashamed of your imperfections, your mistakes, your mess ups, your brokenness, your flaws, whatever it may be because God is SO great, merciful, good, gracious, loving caring AMAZING and SOOOOOO much more! He wants to use you, and when I say you, I mean ALL of you (flaws and all) if you let Him!!!! EVERYTHING about you, the good, bad, and the ugly of the ugliest, He can take the ashes of your past and turn them into beauty. He can take your mess and turn it into a message, He can take your brokenness and shine through you, He can take your mistakes and use them for HIS glory!
Never, I repeat, NEVER let the enemy lie to you and condemn you making you feel like God can never use you because you're too broken, or unworthy, or you made too many mistakes in your life, or that God can't fix, heal you, or that you aren't "good enough". Well let me tell you something if you weren't "good enough" then Jesus wouldn't have gave His life for you! YOU, who ever you are reading this, YOU are more than enough! You are pretty enough! You are worth it! You are smart enough! You are good enough! Enough that God gave His ONE and only son, JESUS to save you by dying a horrific death on the cross to save you and that's why satan is trying so hard to destroy you because he knows how much you mean to God. So please don't believe the devil's lies instead believe God's TRUTH!
I love you All and I'm praying for each and everyone of you, that no matter where you are at in life that God will set you free from sin and breath into you LIFE! That when the enemy tries to condemn you or lie to you, you will know the Truth :)
Love your sis in Christ,
Joy J <3
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